In Pursuit of The Dream

2 days ago, I turned the fifth job offer in 4 months. This is apart from a number of partnership offers, marketing offers and like "opportunities" I had passed up earlier.

I quit my job at the end of July to pursue an idea, a startup, internet startup business. Apart from having launched 2 products (kobowise.com, an online accounting tool for small businesses and gospoteric.com, an online store for gospel and like messages), I'm yet to record any significant progress in revenue. It looked like a dumb move – quitting, considering the fact that I didn't have some plenty cash tucked away somewhere. My primary reason for quitting was because I felt unfulfilled, I was suffocating. I felt like I was running away from some kind of entrepreneurial responsibilities, like Jonah. I finally made up my mind to walk after listening to Steve Harris’ podcast titled “WouldYou Please Fail”.

Yes, I did save up something in the months I was working, but it ran out in no time. My products haven't seen much success. To be honest, I have felt discouraged many times, carrying the heavy load of 2 internet startups (technical, marketing and everything else in between) alone. The discouragements, coupled with little or, mostly, no funds, have derailed me quite often, resulting in the kind of inconsistency that makes it even harder to succeed. Of course, no man can serve 2 masters, much less when he's the only one doing all the service. So I suspended one and followed the other. I had also considered freelance gigs – in fact, I’m about to sign up as a home tutor on Prepclass.com.ng to teach Math, Piano, or Tech Entrepreneurship.

Why then did I turn down the job offers? If I am broke and my startups are still not starting up, why am I still wasting my time?

First there is that sense of entrepreneurial responsibility, that loud voice in your head showing you different societal problems and charting possible solutions, showing you how many possible ways things could be done differently, reminding you of all the stuff you have read from books, blogs and other materials concerning entrepreneurs and entrepreneurship and how you long to try them out. A call to duty. All those ideas looking up to you expectantly like starving children looking into the fridge.

Then there is curiousity - the crave to know. To know what will happen if you tried, if you pursued those plans you have been contemplating, if you held on a little longer. To know if those voices in your head are right, if you can truly make a change, create something; convert an invisible opportunity to something tangible. To see how far your potentials can take you.  You want to know if you too can become another intriguing success story.

Next is a strong sense of purpose, that superman, man-on-a-mission feeling; the conviction that you were “born for this”. By now, you have believed that first voice in your head and you have stepped out, and you have probably had your fingers burnt a few times already. But you have tied the belief that it is up you and that you are up to it to your very fulfilment and happiness. Giving up on it will make you start to doubt if you can ever amount to anything at all, if you’ll ever lead a fulfilling life or ever taste victory. You start wondering if that is how you will keep chickening out forever.

Then there is the bragging right - to be right to say I did it, I made it. A story to tell, a proof that you are indeed the man - you held through. A trophy, your trophy, from which you can draw the confidence to attempt even bigger things. Even Jesus was said to have endured His cross because of this. This thought fills you with energy. If you are lucky, it drowns out the rumbling of your empty stomach and your aching legs that you have used to trek from Sabo to Anthony.

It could be a couple more things, but the fact remains that you have to have a strong enough reason to keep going till you get there – wherever it is you left your job for.

I probably could have done a number of things differently that would have eased my journey, save up a little more money maybe. But no one ever has enough money. Bishop David Abioye once said that God gave us brains for when there is not enough money. Quitting because of lack of fund feels like an insult to my brain. I believe that you develop some kind of mental muscle and prove your mettle by searching for ways around obstacles like this. I refuse to concede any excuse. Everyone that made it has had a reasonable excuse to quit at some point. That is what this journey is about - making it irrespective of the how badly the odds are stacked up against you.

Like many before me, I have attributed the consequences of my own foolishness to challenges of startup, some to the devil. Still, they are all obstacles, they are in the way. Whether it is lack of funds, inexperience in negotiating and acquiring the rights and licenses for messages or the downside of your temperament; that is your own cross, you have to go through them to make it. But I’ll rather face them and learn – and I am learning – than hide behind a desk in some company.

So this Christmas, the guy that played it safe and kept his job can afford to go shopping while I keep looking for how to get a user with just 10MB bonus data on a 3G network to buy and download a 32MB audio message. Be that as it may, I’m still not taking that job.

Soundbite

Last friday, one of my friend's phone rang. His ringtone was Bruno Mars' Lazy Song, the one he was singing about how he felt like just laying in his bed and not doing anything at all. I felt angry, with the song.
A production and recording session (excluding mastering and mixing) can take up to 6 - 8 hours if the artist and producer are good and they work uninterrupted. I had seen the video of that song, a video shoot (excluding post-production) can take a whole day.
So I'm thinking, this guy just worked hard for a total of about 20 hours to produce Lazy Song and its video, and millions of people all over the world are going to pay to listen to the song, consent to its wordings and start lazying about, believing that they are in good company. He just put in 20 hours of hardwork to make people feel lazy, and he gets richer for it?

Sunday afternoon. As I "dey waka dey go", African China's song - the one about how our government is bad and how they don't give us jobs - came to mind. Again, it got me thinking. The wordings of this song may be true, but what that is not I had an issue with.
China made it, to a good extent, in the Nigerian music industry. He used his talent to create a niche for himself and a way out of poverty. I believe he came from an environment that had a number of unemployed guys, all looking up to the government for jobs. But he wasn't one of them, atleast not anymore. He traded his talent, worked his way out of poverty by looking inwards and working hard. My question then: why didn't he use the song to encourage people to do the same, to look inward and find something that they too can start doing, commit diligently to as he has done and rise inspite of the state of things.
So again, millions, including the broke, unemployed guys, spend the money they haven't enough of to get and listen to this music, feel more hopeless and powerless and join him to push the blame (responsibility) to the government. But he isn't doing the same himself, he took responsibility. He spreads hopelessness and despondency from the same breath that could have so easily been used to spread hope and a way up.

Sunday night. I stumbled upon a video on Youtube. It was about the life of porn actors and actresses that had left the industry. A couple of them talked about how they were preyed upon by the producers, taking advantage of their low self esteem and what not to sweet-talk them into acting porn. They talked about how they felt used, empty, like inanimate sex objects after, how hard it is to get around without wondering if someone had seen you in "action", how they have now changed (2 of them said they are now born again).
But this last lady, she claimed she was okay, that the other guys were just not suited for the "job". She admitted that their work takes its toll on them, but that she was fine, she was happy. Infact, she still ran an "adult" radio show where she reviewed and recommended porn movies to listeners.
The interviewer then asked her what she would do if her daughter walked up to her and told her that she wanted to start acting porn, just like mama, whether she would be okay with it? She said she will look at herself as a mother and wonder where she had gone wrong.
I was hurt, deeply. So all the while, she was fronting like Allizwell, doing her radio show and stuff,  but deep down she knew that something had to be wrong for her, her daughter or any other person for that matter to want to go into porn. According to the show, she was voted one of the top 50 porn stars of all time (how does that even work?), so it was not the opinion of some bitter industry failure, it was coming from someone who has seen it all, done it all. Yet she was so aware of the truth that she could confess it without hesitation!

Why? Why the double standards? I'm very concerned about this because this (entertainment industry) plays a huge role in shaping the minds and influencing the lives of many, many people. Most of what many people know or think about anything comes from media, especially entertainment; people don't study books anymore. And once they are influenced, it is very hard to correct them even after the person who did the influencing changes.

How then can we get these guys to use their platform constructively. Yes, it is just entertainment, but it could be underlined with constructive messages. They have the people's attention, their hearts and minds, why not plant seeds of change. Entertainment and values are not mutually exclusive na, abi wetin una think?