The Journey so Far - #BringOn2015

In the bus 2 days ago, going to Sabo from Anthony, coming down the Jibowu bridge, I felt a tinge of nostalgia. Jibowu was where I dropped when I came into Lagos for the first time around November last year. I remember looking around the tall buildings, bridges, wide, dual lane roads with plenty, plenty cars all the way from Ojota, in wonderment. I was somewhere between inspired and intimidated.

 I came into Lasgidi to grab my own piece of the pie, on the heels of a very tragic episode of my life that really crushed my spirit and drained my confidence, consequences of my own actions. I had managed to pick myself up and got ready to start something new. I had a dream, an idea I had been nursing for over a year then. All I had was 3 exercise books filled with plans and strategies, the goodwill of my parents and some little cash. I had no experience, no laptop (online business man ni), no team, no idea how to survive in Lagos, and as at 9 PM that night, no place to sleep (I couldn’t connect with my contact). So, just on arrival, I was so discouraged, I started to re-evaluate the whole I-have-a-dream position.

That was a very defining moment for me, just moving into a big city. There are typically 3 ways people deal with this kind of situation. 1.) Give in to the intimidation, sink to bottom or simply settle for a “simple” life, 2.) Hang themselves on pedestals they haven’t attained, packaging and pretending or, 3.) Roll up their socks and work their way up.

Number 1 wasn’t an option; I might as well just crawl back to where I was coming from. Number two wasn’t an option either; I have never been able to understand that lifestyle of falsehood. So I was left with just number 3. The only problem: I didn’t have the slightest idea how to get started, I thought I did, I mean there had to be something in my 3 exercise books, I just wasn’t sure about them anymore.

So the next day and the days after that, I went about making enquiries. In no time, I ran out of cash – Lagos transport does that to you. No other supply was going to be coming from anywhere and I didn’t know how to proceed. The past few days had outlined my inexperience and amateur strategies, the coming days was going to test my already shaking resolve. It was clear that I was a long way off from achieving my target. I didn’t have any idea how the industry worked, I didn’t have a laptop and I had neither enough skill nor resources to proceed. I didn’t have any plan going forward. I didn’t have the know-how capital to formulate any. I read books a lot, so I had some knowledge but I wasn’t quite confident in them, they were untested. Days rolled into weeks, weeks rolled into the New Year (this year) and I still wasn’t moving. I was revved up by the idea and held down by my limitations at the same time, like a car with both the brake and clutch fully pressed down together. I felt this maddening uneasiness every time I thought about this dream I was not still fulfilling. I dreaded that more than the pain of hunger.

I later picked up a job in March, I worked there till end of July and I quit. I had had it. I was done being scared. I was done being confused. I was done being inexperienced. I was done bemoaning low confidence. My 2-year old plans and all the untested knowledge were beginning to suffocate me. I didn’t still have money, a laptop or the know-how but I didn’t care anymore. I was tired of just talking and planning and having very “reasonable” excuses for not doing. I was tired of receiving sympathy votes, people endorsing the notion that “there is nothing you can do.” I wasn’t happy with where I was. I didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t “out there” trying. I wasn’t even positioned in the ecosystem at all, so I wasn’t even learning anything about it. I wanted to try this thing out so badly. I wanted it more than I wanted a steady, comfortable salary. I had seen some of the guys doing great stuffs around and I noticed that 1) they all had challenges and 2) they weren’t really smarter than me. They were simply there every day confronting and overcoming their challenges.

So I quit. I turned defiant. Just like prisoners, I took all my excuses and limitations, stripped them of all their names and beautiful sentimental holds and dressed all of them up in the same “orange overall” that helped me identify them all as the same thing: obstacles! They were all in the way. So I made up my mind to go around or go through every one of them, one way or the other, I was going to get whatever was on the other side.

Since then it has been a fight. I managed to secure a laptop. I worked alone so I had enormous workload – or at least I thought I did. I was determined not to blame myself for failure or at least for not trying, so I gave it everything I thought it demanded. I googled whatever I didn’t know; I refused to blame lack of knowledge/skill. In that blind, defiant approach, I made a lot of misguided and misinformed choices. I prioritized a lot of my tasks wrongly, so I spent months doing the wrong things. Of course, there were a lot of wrongful “convictions”, I forced the “obstacle” prison-uniform on so many helpful advice. I threw a lot of babies away with the bath water, sometimes without bath water. I was charging on like a mad dog.

I have been stretched thin. I learnt to work all night after working all day, non-stop. I turned down 7 job offers, some very lucrative ones too. I gave up so much, so many things I loved to do. I haven’t played the piano in a service or worked with a choir in over a year. I forgot my parents’ anniversary, I forgot my dad’s birthday, totally forgot Asikey, and a number of good friends. My weekends were between 6AM and 2PM on Sundays and I’m back to work.

Now we’re here. Gospoteric is up; both the Wordstore (online softcopy audio message store) and very recently, the Bookstore (hardcopy spiritual and personal development material store). A platform poised to create a new wave of transformation by making Spiritual and Personal Development materials available and obtainable. We are like a newly promoted Premier league side and you can bet on one thing: we’re here to stay! I thank God for bringing us this far. And I thank everyone that has made the journey possible actively or passively; lil brother Akachukwu Obi and the rest of my siblings, Dad and mom, Bishop David Oyedepo’s teachings and Blessings, my life strategist Steve Harris, Judith and Victor Mbanisi, Mr Taiwo, Confy Edolor, Naomi Lucas Blogs' constant inspiration, CCHub community, and the host of you out there. God bless you.

The journey just began and there is a very long road ahead. But the most important thing is that I have stepped up and I’m ready to travel it. I went toe to toe with my greatest fears and only one of us is left standing. On the back of that little personal victory, combined with the anger I feel when I think about all the time I lost cowering in fear, I’m ready to take on just about anything right now. You don’t want to see my plans for next year.

If my 2014 startup journey was a human being, he will have scars on his back, blisters on his palms, cramps on his legs, fire in his heart, God on his side, blood in his eyes and an if-I-catch-you-ehn smirk on his face that clearly says #BringOn2015.

I Am He - #StepUp #ChaseYourGreatness

I AM HE!

In my secondary school, every second term, the school’s games department organizes inter-class football competition. My own class, SS2B, had 27 boys and 3 girls (don’t ask me how). Since only 11 boys make up a football team at a time, I wasn’t exactly eyeing a spot on the team, and there were 20-something other guys in the class who could kick the ball better than me. But I still wanted part of the action, I always do.

With the opening game approaching, I noticed that while the twenty-something boys were looking to make the team, no one noticed that the team needed a coach, so I proclaimed myself the coach. Of course they laughed it off, I didn’t know enough soccer to make the team, who was I then to dictate the chosen 11? Besides, who even takes me seriously? In the spirit of the joke, I started drawing up formations and passing them around. Each one was criticized and tossed aside, but I kept drawing up more.

On the day of the opening game, we were up against our noisy rivals and classmates, SS2A. The twenty-something hopeful boys showed up on the field wearing the jersey our class had agreed on. Five minutes to kick-off, there were still about 12 people on the pitch instead of the required 11. Somehow, the rest had come to accept that they couldn’t start.

Then something amazing happened, all 12 of them plus the rest that had backed out, somewhere around 50 eyeballs turned to YOURS TRULY to pick the team. It was as though the world stopped, I couldn’t believe it. These guys didn’t take me seriously. They rubbished my formations, now they want me to pick the team?

Looking back now, I think they pushed it to me because no one wanted to be the one to tell someone else that he wasn’t going to be playing, that is the unfortunate job of a coach. So quickly, I just pointed at the smallest guy there and asked him to come off the pitch. Coach had spoken!

We lost that game 2-1. Through the rest of the competition, my formations were mostly popular opinion. We kept pushing on like that, winning every other game till we got to the finals. We met the same SS2A but we beat them to the trophy. I got a medal that day and till this day, I still take credit for leading the team to the inter-class victory (Keshi takes credit for the Nation’s cup too, doesn’t he) and my classmates still laugh at the thought of me being Coach.

Life doesn’t hand anything to you. Sometimes you just need to step up and claim things for yourself; responsibilities, opportunities, victories and accompanying glories. According to this article by James Clear,Chosen Ones mostly choose themselves. Even when people seem to be divinely appointed for a moment, or opportunity seems to just pull over, you still choose to step in and take the ride.

We spend most of our lives being appointed responsibilities and being told what to do and when to do it. Boarding school bells told us when to wake up, the timetable told us which classes to attend, the boss tells us how much salary to take home and when to be promoted. But the things that really matter, like defining your identity, you alone have responsibility for that so stop waiting for permission.

Half the time, people who people who step up don’t feel like it, they don’t even know the first thing about it. But it’s not about what you know or how you feel, it’s all about what you want and how badly you want it. So, in the words of Steve Harris, #ChaseYourGreatness .

In Pursuit of The Dream

2 days ago, I turned the fifth job offer in 4 months. This is apart from a number of partnership offers, marketing offers and like "opportunities" I had passed up earlier.

I quit my job at the end of July to pursue an idea, a startup, internet startup business. Apart from having launched 2 products (kobowise.com, an online accounting tool for small businesses and gospoteric.com, an online store for gospel and like messages), I'm yet to record any significant progress in revenue. It looked like a dumb move – quitting, considering the fact that I didn't have some plenty cash tucked away somewhere. My primary reason for quitting was because I felt unfulfilled, I was suffocating. I felt like I was running away from some kind of entrepreneurial responsibilities, like Jonah. I finally made up my mind to walk after listening to Steve Harris’ podcast titled “WouldYou Please Fail”.

Yes, I did save up something in the months I was working, but it ran out in no time. My products haven't seen much success. To be honest, I have felt discouraged many times, carrying the heavy load of 2 internet startups (technical, marketing and everything else in between) alone. The discouragements, coupled with little or, mostly, no funds, have derailed me quite often, resulting in the kind of inconsistency that makes it even harder to succeed. Of course, no man can serve 2 masters, much less when he's the only one doing all the service. So I suspended one and followed the other. I had also considered freelance gigs – in fact, I’m about to sign up as a home tutor on Prepclass.com.ng to teach Math, Piano, or Tech Entrepreneurship.

Why then did I turn down the job offers? If I am broke and my startups are still not starting up, why am I still wasting my time?

First there is that sense of entrepreneurial responsibility, that loud voice in your head showing you different societal problems and charting possible solutions, showing you how many possible ways things could be done differently, reminding you of all the stuff you have read from books, blogs and other materials concerning entrepreneurs and entrepreneurship and how you long to try them out. A call to duty. All those ideas looking up to you expectantly like starving children looking into the fridge.

Then there is curiousity - the crave to know. To know what will happen if you tried, if you pursued those plans you have been contemplating, if you held on a little longer. To know if those voices in your head are right, if you can truly make a change, create something; convert an invisible opportunity to something tangible. To see how far your potentials can take you.  You want to know if you too can become another intriguing success story.

Next is a strong sense of purpose, that superman, man-on-a-mission feeling; the conviction that you were “born for this”. By now, you have believed that first voice in your head and you have stepped out, and you have probably had your fingers burnt a few times already. But you have tied the belief that it is up you and that you are up to it to your very fulfilment and happiness. Giving up on it will make you start to doubt if you can ever amount to anything at all, if you’ll ever lead a fulfilling life or ever taste victory. You start wondering if that is how you will keep chickening out forever.

Then there is the bragging right - to be right to say I did it, I made it. A story to tell, a proof that you are indeed the man - you held through. A trophy, your trophy, from which you can draw the confidence to attempt even bigger things. Even Jesus was said to have endured His cross because of this. This thought fills you with energy. If you are lucky, it drowns out the rumbling of your empty stomach and your aching legs that you have used to trek from Sabo to Anthony.

It could be a couple more things, but the fact remains that you have to have a strong enough reason to keep going till you get there – wherever it is you left your job for.

I probably could have done a number of things differently that would have eased my journey, save up a little more money maybe. But no one ever has enough money. Bishop David Abioye once said that God gave us brains for when there is not enough money. Quitting because of lack of fund feels like an insult to my brain. I believe that you develop some kind of mental muscle and prove your mettle by searching for ways around obstacles like this. I refuse to concede any excuse. Everyone that made it has had a reasonable excuse to quit at some point. That is what this journey is about - making it irrespective of the how badly the odds are stacked up against you.

Like many before me, I have attributed the consequences of my own foolishness to challenges of startup, some to the devil. Still, they are all obstacles, they are in the way. Whether it is lack of funds, inexperience in negotiating and acquiring the rights and licenses for messages or the downside of your temperament; that is your own cross, you have to go through them to make it. But I’ll rather face them and learn – and I am learning – than hide behind a desk in some company.

So this Christmas, the guy that played it safe and kept his job can afford to go shopping while I keep looking for how to get a user with just 10MB bonus data on a 3G network to buy and download a 32MB audio message. Be that as it may, I’m still not taking that job.

Soundbite

Last friday, one of my friend's phone rang. His ringtone was Bruno Mars' Lazy Song, the one he was singing about how he felt like just laying in his bed and not doing anything at all. I felt angry, with the song.
A production and recording session (excluding mastering and mixing) can take up to 6 - 8 hours if the artist and producer are good and they work uninterrupted. I had seen the video of that song, a video shoot (excluding post-production) can take a whole day.
So I'm thinking, this guy just worked hard for a total of about 20 hours to produce Lazy Song and its video, and millions of people all over the world are going to pay to listen to the song, consent to its wordings and start lazying about, believing that they are in good company. He just put in 20 hours of hardwork to make people feel lazy, and he gets richer for it?

Sunday afternoon. As I "dey waka dey go", African China's song - the one about how our government is bad and how they don't give us jobs - came to mind. Again, it got me thinking. The wordings of this song may be true, but what that is not I had an issue with.
China made it, to a good extent, in the Nigerian music industry. He used his talent to create a niche for himself and a way out of poverty. I believe he came from an environment that had a number of unemployed guys, all looking up to the government for jobs. But he wasn't one of them, atleast not anymore. He traded his talent, worked his way out of poverty by looking inwards and working hard. My question then: why didn't he use the song to encourage people to do the same, to look inward and find something that they too can start doing, commit diligently to as he has done and rise inspite of the state of things.
So again, millions, including the broke, unemployed guys, spend the money they haven't enough of to get and listen to this music, feel more hopeless and powerless and join him to push the blame (responsibility) to the government. But he isn't doing the same himself, he took responsibility. He spreads hopelessness and despondency from the same breath that could have so easily been used to spread hope and a way up.

Sunday night. I stumbled upon a video on Youtube. It was about the life of porn actors and actresses that had left the industry. A couple of them talked about how they were preyed upon by the producers, taking advantage of their low self esteem and what not to sweet-talk them into acting porn. They talked about how they felt used, empty, like inanimate sex objects after, how hard it is to get around without wondering if someone had seen you in "action", how they have now changed (2 of them said they are now born again).
But this last lady, she claimed she was okay, that the other guys were just not suited for the "job". She admitted that their work takes its toll on them, but that she was fine, she was happy. Infact, she still ran an "adult" radio show where she reviewed and recommended porn movies to listeners.
The interviewer then asked her what she would do if her daughter walked up to her and told her that she wanted to start acting porn, just like mama, whether she would be okay with it? She said she will look at herself as a mother and wonder where she had gone wrong.
I was hurt, deeply. So all the while, she was fronting like Allizwell, doing her radio show and stuff,  but deep down she knew that something had to be wrong for her, her daughter or any other person for that matter to want to go into porn. According to the show, she was voted one of the top 50 porn stars of all time (how does that even work?), so it was not the opinion of some bitter industry failure, it was coming from someone who has seen it all, done it all. Yet she was so aware of the truth that she could confess it without hesitation!

Why? Why the double standards? I'm very concerned about this because this (entertainment industry) plays a huge role in shaping the minds and influencing the lives of many, many people. Most of what many people know or think about anything comes from media, especially entertainment; people don't study books anymore. And once they are influenced, it is very hard to correct them even after the person who did the influencing changes.

How then can we get these guys to use their platform constructively. Yes, it is just entertainment, but it could be underlined with constructive messages. They have the people's attention, their hearts and minds, why not plant seeds of change. Entertainment and values are not mutually exclusive na, abi wetin una think?